We can choose, in every moment, how we feel about things and we can choose, in every moment, how we deal with things.
I learned such an invaluable and empowering lesson this Christmas.
There is always so much going on during the holiday period and it’s so easy to let things take over, ignore the signs of overwhelm rising and find ourselves stressed, decentred and disconnected in no time at all.
Our body communicates
You know, our body communicates with us constantly through our feelings, emotions and pain and our head communicates constantly through fear. Anxiety, overwhelm, insecurity, jealousy, resentment, self-consciousness are all seedlings of fear. Before I even opened my eyes on Christmas Eve morning I could feel a very strong stirring in my belly – and it wasn’t a pleasant one! I’m learning to identify my feelings and work with them and immediately I said to myself ‘resentment – this is definitely resentment!’. But resentment of what?
I lay with the feeling for a few moments; just being with it, not resisting it and then I asked it what it was trying to tell me – what was the resentment about? What did I need to learn? What wasn’t I aware of? My head immediately went off on a rant – “There’s too much to do – why is it always me having to do everything – everyone else can sit and enjoy themselves while I work and work – it’s holiday for me too – I’m going to be so tired and stressed and have no time for me…” ….and on and on and on it went!
I hear you…
Letting the voice in my head rave on a while, I became ‘the Observer’ and just listened carefully to it without any judgement or resistance. Then with lots of love and patience, I said “OK, I hear you. First of all, you have choices. If you don’t want to do anything, don’t. Nobody is forcing you to do anything; nobody has told you to do anything; nobody has even asked you to do anything. Decide right now – what you want to be doing and if you could be anywhere now, where would you want to be”.
Pondering a while, I realised that I actually didn’t want to be anywhere else but with my family on Christmas day. I wanted to prepare the things they loved. I wanted to make their favourite dessert – Tiramisu – and I wanted to make cakes and savoury treats with my grandchildren. I actually wanted to do everything I was going to do, so why did I feel so resentful? Because my head was telling me I had no choice, I couldn’t choose because If I didn’t do things, nobody else would, and if I didn’t do things people would think I was selfish and… and… and…!
I every moment I can choose
Knowing that how I feel in any given moment, is always my responsibility and nobody else’s, I decided, then and there, that I would change my perspective of all of this. I would do things differently; I would not allow past experiences and past energies to cloud and control things; I would make this experience more enjoyable and so much less stressful. So I said out loud – “In every moment I have choices and I choose to be here right now and I choose to do these things and I can choose what I want to do, how much I want to prepare and when to do it and, I can also choose how to feel while I am doing it all.” The experience didn’t need to be stressful, I could plan things to do over the next few days and I could prepare things in advance.
So that is what I did! I quickly made a plan and I put on some music from my favourite singer of the moment – the amazing LP – and I decided I was going to enjoy myself. So while I sliced and roasted peppers and aubergines for starters and extras over Christmas, I sang and danced; while I prepared the sauces for the Lasagne for Boxing Day, I sang and danced; while I prepared the Tiramisu, I sang and danced; while I prepared savoury starters, I sang and danced. And you know, the time just flew and I had so much fun! Yes, I was tired after an afternoon in the kitchen, but I felt so happy and so satisfied with the whole experience.
The next day, fixing Christmas dinner was so much easier because so many things had been done beforehand and while I got on with things, my grandchildren prepared the chocolate rocks and chocolate salami that they love and we made lots of mess and we laughed a lot. The whole experience was so much fun and I had never been so relaxed about it all – ever, ever. And you know, all I had done was simply change my perspective and own the fact that I had choices.
Time to own our power
Believing we have no choice, is the most disempowering and destructive thing we can do to ourselves. Yes, there are times when we have to do things but we can always choose our perspective and attitude towards what we are doing. We can always choose how we feel about things and we can always choose how we deal with things. Being aware of our feelings and listening to them, being aware of the fears that our mind communicates to us, and taking responsibility for all of it, makes the difference….and that difference, lovely beings, is our power…. and it’s time to own it.
And by the way, it was the best Tiramisu ever!!
Much love and Fragrant Blessings
PS.. If you are ready to claim your true self, let go of what no longer serves you and create a life of love and joy for yourself, and would like some support in beginning your journey, then why not apply for a Fragrance of Being Session. It’s my gift to you.